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Requests: The Creator's tool

When we take responsibility for ourselves and the vision we have for the world we step into a creator role.

Unless you're in a rare situation where you can bring about this vision by yourself, you'll need other people to align with your vision and help you make it happen. The most powerful tool to do that, is to ask. To make a request.

A strong request is actionable, clear, present. It's vulnerable to make a request, and most people avoid it!

Different kinds of requests:

  • Appeal to authority: Whose decision is it? Is there a formal domain here? If there is, find the decision maker and ask them. The request here is for them to consider your vision, and to help you make it happen. A pull request is an obvious example of this. You don't have domain over the repo. You encode your vision in code, and make a pull request.
  • Appeal for help: Sometimes I just need support. Support to articulate my vision, support to figure out what my next step is, support to brainstorm, or just moral support for confidence and self esteem. Do I need help here? If so, ask for help.
  • Request for resources: Do I need resources here? Who has resources? Find them and ask for resources.
  • Request for followers: Do I have a vision that needs a team? Articulate a vision and ask people to join me.

Requests v.s. Demands

  • A demand feels entitled. It assumes that the world owes it. A true request has gratitude and humility in it.
  • A demand has consequences if not met. There's usually a hidden blackmail in there. A true request is humble and ok with a "no".
  • A demand is often made without permission. A true request starts with: "I have something to ask of you. Are you open?"
  • A demand is usually not open to negotiation, a true request is.
  • A demand is future based: "Please don't do that again in the future.", a true request is always present: "Would you please give me your word to not do that again."

Request Amnesia

Sometimes we forget how powerful we are and that we have the ability to make requests to create change. When we're in this state, we fall into a couple all too familiar behavioral patterns that cast us as a victim of our experiences.

You know you’ve fallen into victim consciousness if you find yourself:
  1. Triangulating
  2. Complaining
  3. Making demands v.s. requests
  4. Feeling like “this is happening to me, and I can’t do anything about it
  5. Disconnecting / isolating / giving up on your vision