An agreement is a shared agreement that is non-violable. They present a firm and clear boundary on how we choose to be with each other. Below are our shared agreements:
We are human. Personal conflicts will come up as we work and learn together. When you feel that something personal is beginning to get in the way of you working optimally with someone else, address it directly with them as soon as you can.
We call this practice "clearing".
Clearing usually involves sharing anything that you're "holding" in your mind or heart that's getting in the way of you being able to work with another person. In other words, clearing is a process by which whatever feelings and/or thoughts we're withholding about an experience can come to the foreground and be released.
Clearings come in a couple different flavors, these are the main two:
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**A Pinch: **Something someone did "pinched" your ego. You could let it go, but it's building a small level of resentment, so instead of trying to act like it didn't happen, just speak to it. For example: "When you didn't respond to that question I asked in the meeting I felt snubbed". Pinches are quick to resolve, and usually don't need more than a "thank you" in response.
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**A Reality Check: **We make up stories all the time about each other. If you notice a belief forming in your mind about someone else, ask them about it. For example: "I noticed that whenever I talk about anything related to marketing, you seem to zone out. I'm starting to make up a story in my mind that you think I'm terrible at marketing. Is there any truth to that?"
**An apology **can also be another form of clearing. Sometimes we know we owe someone an apology and for a range of often complicated reasons, we may avoid sharing the apology which leads to avoidance of that person in general. We strongly recommend getting in the practice of apologizing and making amends quickly.
**It's important not to have a hidden **request or feedback in our clearings. The implicit request when clearing is to be heard and to be known in order for the air to clear.
**Purpose:**The intention of this agreement is to support a low-drama, low-politics culture: A team where everyone is confident that they are respected and honored when they're not present.
Essentially it boils down to this: Don't gossip. Don't build political alliances to get work done. If you mention someone's name when they're not present do it in the same way you would if they were present. If you have feedback for someone, the best and only place for this feedback is to give it to them directly. If that's not working, get others to join the conversation.
If you have feedback for supporting staff, or other stakeholders, do your best to give it directly to them. If that's not possible/efficient/effective it's OK to talk about them with someone else.
Radical Responsibility means we agree to assuming full ownership of our purpose here and the role we play as contributors to this learning environment. We don't blame or avoid. We own our experience, and our emotions.
Accountability leads us to accept responsibility for our actions. It's related to Radical Responsibility because it boils down to owning your stuff and staying in your lane.
On another note, accountability gives our agreements potency. They are meaningless if we don't hold ourselves and each other accountable to them. It is crucial that we step up to violated promises, broken commitments and bad behavior. In doing so, we maintain our integrity, and support each other lovingly and firmly in doing the same.
- Only hold people accountable for things they've explicitly agreed to
- Set good boundaries: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NxB6c6d39A
- Don't blame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZWf2_2L2v8